this is a page of random Teens issues.Problem of teen pregnancy.
Abstract
Teen pregnancy is a difficult problem to diagnose as it withstands many of the risk factors at least for some ethnic and racial groups. What seems more important is to provide access to information and healthcare to teens, in order to curb prejudices and stigma. Improved contraception use is one major reason teen pregnancy rates have declined.
The high rate of teen pregnancies in the United States continues to be a problem. Lack of information and healthcare and stigmatization can be cited as reasons for this problem.
Although the rate of teen births fell to the lowest rate of 39.1 births per 1,000 teenagers in 2009 (Vital signs: teen pregnancy, 2011), it is still much higher than teen birth rates in comparable industrialized countries, such as the Netherlands, which has about 4 births per 1,000 teenagers or Japan, with about 5 births per 1,000 teenagers (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011). This high rate of teen births has a severe impact on society since about half of teen mothers will receive welfare within 5 years of giving birth (General Accounting Office, 1998).
Looking at the demographics of teen pregnancy, Hispanics in southern states were most likely to become pregnant and give birth and white teens in the Northeast and Midwest were least likely to become pregnant and give birth (Vital signs: teen pregnancy, 2011). Additionally, teens growing up in urban areas are at a higher risk for pregnancy than their peers in rural areas (Robinson, Price, Thompson, & Schmalzried, 1998).
Knowing the demographics is a first step to identifying the risk factors that can lead to teen pregnancy, however, the demographics alone will not suffice in developing a comprehensive approach to combat the problem.
More importantly, the teens and their motivations need to be understood. Research has shown that parents are the most influential people on a teen’s decision to have sex. Parents are even more influential than their peers or any media outlet (Melby, 2010). Parental guidance can be an effective deterrent to teen pregnancy if sex is discussed at home (Vital signs: teen pregnancy, 2011), however, some of that effect is lost in white teens if the mother had given birth as a teenager as well (General Accounting Office, 1998).
The socioeconomic status of the family can also have an impact on teen pregnancy; however, it is different for each racial and ethnic group, without a consistent pattern. A low socioeconomic status increases the risk for Hispanic teens but lowers it for black teens, while a higher socioeconomic status increases the risk for black teens. At the same time, the family structure had no impact on pregnancy rates of blacks, but living in a two-parent family home reduced the risk of teen pregnancy for Hispanic and white teens, hinting at a greater importance of family life for these groups (General Accounting Office, 1998).
While teens generally report being aware of the consequences of having sex and they know preventive measures are available (Crump, Haynie, Aarons, Adair, et al, 1999), the school’s education on the subject varies greatly. A vast majority of female and male teens received information on abstinence only, fewer received information on birth control and the fewest percentage of teens reported having received information on both (Vital signs: teen pregnancy, 2011).
Another problem area is the perception of teen pregnancy. As a result of experiences from their friends, as well as various media outlets, teens are lead to believe that the impact of pregnancy would be small on them. They believe that while teen pregnancy may not be ideal, it would certainly be a manageable and even positive experience for some. At the same time, they do not believe their friendships with their peers would be impacted in a negative way by the pregnancy, but that the pregnancy may provide an opportunity for them to love and be loved. This would mean that social isolation is an important risk factor (Crump, Haynie, Aarons, Adair, et al, 1999).
At the same time, while religion seems to play a significant role in teens’ sexual behavior, the effect varies widely. Jewish teens are least likely to believe in abstinence, however, they do not think teen pregnancy is a desirable outcome and tend to use contraceptive measures to prevent pregnancy or wait. Another large group, the evangelical protestant teens, are most likely to believe in abstinence, yet, they are the least likely group to use contraception and they are the most sexually active group (Talbot, 2008).
All these implications make it difficult to solve the problem of teen pregnancy. Schools tried to further educate teens about the implications by introducing dolls that mimic infant behavior, however, these dolls are often a poor imitation and do not realistically reflect the impact a baby can have on a teen. As a result, they may not be enough of a deterrent for teens to prevent pregnancy (Somers & Fahlman, 2001).
Although over half of sexually active females received birth control (Vital signs: teen pregnancy, 2011), teens are concerned about contraceptive methods as a result of stories they heard from friends, family and media when contraception failed, or their boyfriend’s disapproval of the use of contraception (Crump, Haynie, Aarons, Adair, et al, 1999).
At the same time, teens may hesitate to terminate a pregnancy and choose giving birth instead because this subject has become a highly politicized and divisive issue (Gulli, Lunau, MacQueen, & McKinnell, 2008).
In order to further decrease the rates of teen pregnancy, teens need to be educated even more, and most importantly, they need access to health services that would help them prevent getting pregnant (New data on abstinence, 2010). The drop in teen pregnancy rates since 1991 can be contributed to the most part to the increased use of contraception but also to the fact that teens wait longer to have sex (U.S. teen pregnancy rates, 2007). Further action could include removing the stigma that comes with teen pregnancy, leading to an even broader acceptance and increased support for pregnant teens (Gulli, Lunau, MacQueen, & McKinnell, 2008). This could be done using mass media campaigns emphasizing the importance of safe sex, not only as a contraceptive method but also to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. This widespread distribution of information, in connection with unbiased comprehensive education in schools could lead to a change in how sexuality is viewed and present it as a normal behavior (Berne & Huberman, 2000).
The high teen pregnancy rates pose a significant burden for taxpayers, costing them at least $9.1 billion in 2004. To make matters worse, children of teen mothers are more likely to be placed in foster care, be incarcerated later in life or be subject to child abuse (Koch, 2006). The sociological dangers children of teen mothers face is high and a good support structure is needed for mother and child.
In the end, teens will be sexually active as it is a part of human life. To reduce the risk of teen pregnancy, teens need to be able to receive the information and healthcare they need. Additionally, teens need to be able to grow up knowing that they won’t be stigmatized for engaging in sexual activity.
References
Berne, L. A., & Huberman, B. K. (2000). Lessons Learned: European Approaches to Adolescent Sexual Behavior and Responsibility. Journal of Sex Education & Therapy, 25(2/3), 189-199. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2011, July 1). Teen birth rates declined again in 2009. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/Features/dsTeenPregnancy/
Crump, A., Haynie, D., Aarons, S., Adair, E., Woodward, K., & Simons-Morton, B. (1999). Pregnancy among urban African-American teens: ambivalence about prevention. American Journal of Health Behavior, 23(1), 32-42. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
General Accounting Office, W. v. (1998). Teen Mothers: Selected Socio-Demographic Characteristics and Risk Factors. Report to the Honorable Charles B. Rangel, House of Representatives. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
Gulli, C., Lunau, K., MacQueen, K., & McKinnell, J. (2008). Suddenly teen pregnancy is cool? (cover story). Maclean’s, 121(3), 40. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
Koch, W. (2006, October 30). Fewer teens are giving birth, but cost to taxpayers still .. USA Today. Retrieved from EBSCOhost..
Melby, T. (2010). New study explains rise in teen birth rate. Contemporary Sexuality, 44(8), 1. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
Robinson, K., Price, J., Thompson, C., & Schmalzried, H. (1998). Rural junior high school students’ risk factors for and perceptions of teen-age parenthood. Journal of School Health, 68(8), 334-338. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
New data on abstinence — what do they mean for teen pregnancy prevention? U.S. teen pregnancy rate rose 3% in 2006 after decade of decline. (2010). Contraceptive Technology Update, 31(4), 37-39. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
Somers C, Fahlman M. (2001, May). Effectiveness of the “Baby Think It Over” teen pregnancy prevention program. Journal of School Health [serial online], 71(5):188-195. Available from: CINAHL Plus with Full Text, Ipswich, MA.
Talbot, M. (2008). RED SEX, BLUE SEX. New Yorker, 84(35), 64. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
U.S. teen pregnancy rates decline due to improved contraceptive use: abstinence promotion alone won’t stem unintended pregnancy rate. (2007). Contraceptive Technology Update, 28(3), 25-27. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
Vital signs: teen pregnancy–United States, 1991–2009. (2011). MMWR: Morbidity & Mortality Weekly Report, 60(13), 414-420. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
question? comment below.
Q:I am a sixteen year old girl and me and my boyfriend have been together for over two years. We broke up for a couple days about two months ago and during that brief break up period I hooked up with a random guy. I know I should not have done that but I did and now that random guy has been trying to contact me. We agreed to be friends (even though he flirts with me). Now, my boyfriend knows about the hook up but he said that if he knew who I hooked up with he would tear the guy to shreds. My question is, should I tell my boyfriend I have been talking to him in a friendly manner or is that best to keep to myself?
Expert Answer: Hi Carissa, not sure what you mean by "hook up". Would love to have you help me with that one to better answer this further. It means different things for different people.
If you broke up for a while from your bf, you have nothing to be sorry about in moving on with another guy. If you're not linked to someone else, there should be no guilt in being with another person afterward. Although, you must be careful to not fall into the rebounding phase, which is what this other guy was, a rebound. Now, you are linked to him despite telling him you just want to be friends. IMO, you should not be talking to him anymore if you are back with your bf. There is no reason to talk with him really.
I would not tell your bf who he is obviously, nor would I tell him what you told me. Simply say nothing to further damage things. If he knew you were still talking to this other guy you "hooked up" with, that would cause a lot of problems.
question? comment below.
Brother & sister problem:
Question
QUESTION: I'm 19, the sister in question is around 24-25, and the other two sisters are 18 and 22.
Okay, it's hard to say, but i have to say it: alot of the time, i just don't like hanging out with my sister anymore.
Right now, she's in kind of a dead end. After high school, she went to a really expensive private school for a couple of years(my mom and sister both say they regret a lot of decisions made back then; it wasn't the best time for us). After she dropped out for reasons still unknown to me, she went to another school, left because of finances, and is now living at home and is underemployed at Burger King.(To put it in perspective, I make more at my part-time job at school than she does) She recently became certified as a pharmacy technician, but she can't find a pharm tech job nearby.
I'm frustrated with her because 1. I don't know how much of this is due to circumstances and family drama, and how much is due to her not doing as much work and research as she thinks she does. She's not lazy; she'll do work, she just seems to wait for work to be given rather than seek it out aggressively.
and 2. It's the way she conducts herself outside of work. She has very few friends, so she doesn't go out very often. She usually spends her days playing video games and watching anime. I have no problems with these activities. It just frustrates me that she doesn't take care of her body or her mind. She doesn't shower except on days she goes to work, doesn't seem to go after new knowledge so that she'll have something to talk about other than TV and video games (which gets very tiresome after a while) and always seems to just quietly lament her situation rather than actively try to change it. She eats fast food all the time because she doesn't like cooking, even if it would save what little money she does have by cooking something that isn't even that hard.(In her defense, cooking for 5 in our kitchen is never fun.)(But then again, someone has to, and it can't always be me or mom.)
I know that she cares about me and wants my affection, mostly because we're sisters, partially out of loneliness. But being a person's almost sole source of companionship puts alot of pressure on a girl. Besides, it's not fun to hug anyone who hasn't showered in 2 days.
I don't want to callously tell her she should just "try harder", because the situation is more psychologically more complex than just not trying. What can I do? How do I help her become someone I can respect again? And if there's nothing I can do, how do I cope with being around her for the rest of the summer without punching her?
ANSWER: While you can't change who your sister is and the choices she makes, you can offer her opportunities to develop a more healthy and socially active lifestyle. For example, asking her to go out with you for dinner, to a bar, hang out with friends, a play, game, etc. anything that will get her out of the house. Try to show her that there is more to life than just video games and tv. Ask her to go exercising with you for more bonding time. She may protest at first but once you get her to do it she may realize that she enjoy moving her body and she feels better afterwards.
I would definitely sit her down and tell her your concerns. Let her know that you are not trying to be rude or hurtful but that you just truly care about her and want the best for her. Then explain your worries about the job, showering, the way she spends her time, etc. If you show her how much better, life can be she will want to change. She may get mad at you for a little while but she knows its true so don't worry about offending her.
If none of this works at least you tried and you can allow it to make you feel better about your lifestyle. You can even let her know that if she doesn't start changing the way she cares for herself other people including you won't want to be around her anymore. Personal hygiene is extremely important and should be addressed. Just don't be too blunt about it but not too nice either. You need to get your point across and the worst that can happen is she gets angry with you, but at least you got her thinking about changing.
Good luck and feel free to ask me any further questions.
Rachel
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: How do I even go about talking to her? Our family isn't the best at communicating, and she doesn't handle conflict in the most mature way. Honestly, I don't think she is a very mature person at all, based on how she handles . . . life, really.
Plus, I'm scared. When I talk to my family about serious things, they either ignore me entirely, pay me some lip service, or use it against me.
And it's not like she doesn't want to change; she just doesn't take enough action. I firmly believe that she needs to talk to a counselor, but we can't afford therapy. I have asked around and heard about some sliding-scale therapists, but I fear that my mom might "make too much" (that's how we get screwed over for financial aid) and we wouldn't be able to afford it anyway.
I try setting a good example through my summer job search, but my opinion isn't valued in this environment.
Also, it's not like she NEVER gets out; she invites me to go to the movies with her when we both have money, it's just that I can't have fun with her when my anger and frustration with her get in the way.
and there's also the fact that since I can't drive (because everyone has something better to do than teach me or my younger sister), I would depend on her for transportation to any summer job I get.
So the question is, how do I go about talking to her without sacrificing my own mental health? Can I?
Answer
Well if you really want to talk to her about this I would let her know it is only out of concern. Honestly, it may be a mentally exhausting conversation but you have to at least try to talk to her. Then, if the conversation doesn't go anywhere you can tell yourself that you at least tried. No matter what, you don't want to sacrifice your personal health and psychological state to help your sister get back on her feet. You need to first and foremost take care of yourself.
DEALING WITH CRUSHes
:3 Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl and homeschooled. I'm having a bit of a crush problem, and I was wondering how to deal with it, or forget about it easily. My crush is 18 (if he wasn't 5 years older than me I wouldn't be here right now, I would be flirting with him.) I know he's going to college next year, and... Well, I just want to forget about him. But I can't bring myself to. I see him every week, at drama practice (tonight, actually.), and I kinda want to befriend him, but don't know how. So I want to forget about him. I haven't told anyone, even my best friend (who knows him), and I don't know want to do.
NOTE: I DO NOT want to pursue him, because of the age difference I know it wouldn't work out. I still might try to be friends with him, though, he's really nice. Thanks. :)
answer:
To forget about him in a healthy manner, there are stages you should see yourself passing through. First you accept your feelings for him and not resist, second you remove items and places that remind you of him, then you keep yourself busy and occupy your mind with other things. Although it's often not easy to pass through these stages, this path is usually what eventually will allow you to move forward with your thoughts and not have to worry about him anymore.
Although it may seem contrary to the healing process, actually letting your thoughts and feelings about him flow through your head helps the process. Your subconsciousness and body are currently clung onto this guys' image, and will resist any efforts you make to conscientiously force him out of your mind. What I'm saying then is that whenever you think about him or feel for him, let it be. Accept your feelings and don't beat yourself over it. Let that guilt wash over you for a bit and wait for it to subside on its own. The point here is to remain calm and not to react to your thoughts of him. Passiveness gets you a long way, and it'll prevent yourself from "tempting" yourself into thinking about him by already accepting your feelings for him in the first place.
Secondly, I recommend that if not already, hide away items that remind you of him for awhile. If something around your room, house, or any environment has memories attached to him, hide them somewhere. The point is to remove any triggers you may have that'll tempt you into thinking about him in the first place. Something slightly smell of him? Hide it away. Something you remember he gave you? Shelve it for now. By changing your environment of any anchors to his memory, you can focus more on things that matter in the present.
This then leads me to the final phase, which is to simply keep busy. If not already, don't give yourself time to brood and think about him: force yourself to work and do SOMETHING. Every time you lounge around at home you give yourself a chance for your thoughts to wander to him. If you're doing something that requires great concentration or dedication, you won't have time to think of them as much! For example, I find that the business of my life is distracting me from thinking about my crush, as I focus more on fulfilling actions rather than her. Although you shouldn't resist thoughts, you should resist giving yourself the chance to have such thoughts, if you catch my drift. However, I will warn you that this process works differently for everyone. Not everyone is able to follow up on these actions fully the first time around, and sometimes phases last for months. However, since that's nothing you can really control, you shouldn't worry about that future. Instead worry about being productive with yourself now and doing things that you can enjoy without him ^^. I wish you the best of luck and I hope his memory fades soon!
2) So there's this kid I've known since I was in 7th grade (I'm now a senior in high school) and I kinda like him, and I think he likes me too, but I'm not sure. That's what I need your help with. Okay, so one of our mutual friends came up to me a couple weeks ago and informed me that he likes me, but this friend sometimes lies about things. He waits for me after class, he's always asking me what I'm doing for lunch, back in September when me and my boyfriend broke up he told me I could find someone better and then he started naming off good qualities about himself, he seems to memorize things that I said like months or even years ago, he asked me for my cell number a couple weeks ago (I said no, because I was mad at him for something at the time), he's always holding my things, he tickles/pokes me, he gives me back rubs, and finally, a couple weeks ago I was talking with the kid I like and his friend and I mentioned that I liked football players and his friend says to the kid I like, "well it looks like youve gotta work on your football" so yea I'm not sure if he likes me or not, can you help me? and can you give me some helpful tips on how to get him to ask me out, if you think he likes me.
answer:
Pretty sure he likes you. Yes, there's always that possibility of error that he just might be really really nice to you, but in this case, I think there are enough signs to allow me to posit a "go for it" green light for you :). It seems like he's being forward in his actions, though he hasn't said anything specifically about liking you. I mean, he sounds like a real gentleman, acts like a friend, and makes these statements that are mildly flattering of himself. I think it's a safe bet that he likes you.
If you don't want to do the brute work of making the first move of confession (which is what I'd honestly prefer of you), then ask him to go somewhere like a movie and dinner. It's intimate enough that it's just the two of you, while being just friendly enough not to be so overt, but being a strong enough hint to maybe nudge him in that right direction. If you're feeling forward, I'd suggest dragging him into the movie theatre by his hand, watch a scary movie, and well...you know the cliches. The point is to break some physical barriers, keep looking into his eyes, and keep him overall on edge until he finally asks you out. If that doesn't work...just tell him you like him at the end of the date. The same resolution comes anyways, right?
QUESTION: I'm 19, the sister in question is around 24-25, and the other two sisters are 18 and 22.
Okay, it's hard to say, but i have to say it: alot of the time, i just don't like hanging out with my sister anymore.
Right now, she's in kind of a dead end. After high school, she went to a really expensive private school for a couple of years(my mom and sister both say they regret a lot of decisions made back then; it wasn't the best time for us). After she dropped out for reasons still unknown to me, she went to another school, left because of finances, and is now living at home and is underemployed at Burger King.(To put it in perspective, I make more at my part-time job at school than she does) She recently became certified as a pharmacy technician, but she can't find a pharm tech job nearby.
I'm frustrated with her because 1. I don't know how much of this is due to circumstances and family drama, and how much is due to her not doing as much work and research as she thinks she does. She's not lazy; she'll do work, she just seems to wait for work to be given rather than seek it out aggressively.
and 2. It's the way she conducts herself outside of work. She has very few friends, so she doesn't go out very often. She usually spends her days playing video games and watching anime. I have no problems with these activities. It just frustrates me that she doesn't take care of her body or her mind. She doesn't shower except on days she goes to work, doesn't seem to go after new knowledge so that she'll have something to talk about other than TV and video games (which gets very tiresome after a while) and always seems to just quietly lament her situation rather than actively try to change it. She eats fast food all the time because she doesn't like cooking, even if it would save what little money she does have by cooking something that isn't even that hard.(In her defense, cooking for 5 in our kitchen is never fun.)(But then again, someone has to, and it can't always be me or mom.)
I know that she cares about me and wants my affection, mostly because we're sisters, partially out of loneliness. But being a person's almost sole source of companionship puts alot of pressure on a girl. Besides, it's not fun to hug anyone who hasn't showered in 2 days.
I don't want to callously tell her she should just "try harder", because the situation is more psychologically more complex than just not trying. What can I do? How do I help her become someone I can respect again? And if there's nothing I can do, how do I cope with being around her for the rest of the summer without punching her?
ANSWER: While you can't change who your sister is and the choices she makes, you can offer her opportunities to develop a more healthy and socially active lifestyle. For example, asking her to go out with you for dinner, to a bar, hang out with friends, a play, game, etc. anything that will get her out of the house. Try to show her that there is more to life than just video games and tv. Ask her to go exercising with you for more bonding time. She may protest at first but once you get her to do it she may realize that she enjoy moving her body and she feels better afterwards.
I would definitely sit her down and tell her your concerns. Let her know that you are not trying to be rude or hurtful but that you just truly care about her and want the best for her. Then explain your worries about the job, showering, the way she spends her time, etc. If you show her how much better, life can be she will want to change. She may get mad at you for a little while but she knows its true so don't worry about offending her.
If none of this works at least you tried and you can allow it to make you feel better about your lifestyle. You can even let her know that if she doesn't start changing the way she cares for herself other people including you won't want to be around her anymore. Personal hygiene is extremely important and should be addressed. Just don't be too blunt about it but not too nice either. You need to get your point across and the worst that can happen is she gets angry with you, but at least you got her thinking about changing.
Good luck and feel free to ask me any further questions.
Rachel
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: How do I even go about talking to her? Our family isn't the best at communicating, and she doesn't handle conflict in the most mature way. Honestly, I don't think she is a very mature person at all, based on how she handles . . . life, really.
Plus, I'm scared. When I talk to my family about serious things, they either ignore me entirely, pay me some lip service, or use it against me.
And it's not like she doesn't want to change; she just doesn't take enough action. I firmly believe that she needs to talk to a counselor, but we can't afford therapy. I have asked around and heard about some sliding-scale therapists, but I fear that my mom might "make too much" (that's how we get screwed over for financial aid) and we wouldn't be able to afford it anyway.
I try setting a good example through my summer job search, but my opinion isn't valued in this environment.
Also, it's not like she NEVER gets out; she invites me to go to the movies with her when we both have money, it's just that I can't have fun with her when my anger and frustration with her get in the way.
and there's also the fact that since I can't drive (because everyone has something better to do than teach me or my younger sister), I would depend on her for transportation to any summer job I get.
So the question is, how do I go about talking to her without sacrificing my own mental health? Can I?
Answer
Well if you really want to talk to her about this I would let her know it is only out of concern. Honestly, it may be a mentally exhausting conversation but you have to at least try to talk to her. Then, if the conversation doesn't go anywhere you can tell yourself that you at least tried. No matter what, you don't want to sacrifice your personal health and psychological state to help your sister get back on her feet. You need to first and foremost take care of yourself.
DEALING WITH CRUSHes
:3 Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl and homeschooled. I'm having a bit of a crush problem, and I was wondering how to deal with it, or forget about it easily. My crush is 18 (if he wasn't 5 years older than me I wouldn't be here right now, I would be flirting with him.) I know he's going to college next year, and... Well, I just want to forget about him. But I can't bring myself to. I see him every week, at drama practice (tonight, actually.), and I kinda want to befriend him, but don't know how. So I want to forget about him. I haven't told anyone, even my best friend (who knows him), and I don't know want to do.
NOTE: I DO NOT want to pursue him, because of the age difference I know it wouldn't work out. I still might try to be friends with him, though, he's really nice. Thanks. :)
answer:
To forget about him in a healthy manner, there are stages you should see yourself passing through. First you accept your feelings for him and not resist, second you remove items and places that remind you of him, then you keep yourself busy and occupy your mind with other things. Although it's often not easy to pass through these stages, this path is usually what eventually will allow you to move forward with your thoughts and not have to worry about him anymore.
Although it may seem contrary to the healing process, actually letting your thoughts and feelings about him flow through your head helps the process. Your subconsciousness and body are currently clung onto this guys' image, and will resist any efforts you make to conscientiously force him out of your mind. What I'm saying then is that whenever you think about him or feel for him, let it be. Accept your feelings and don't beat yourself over it. Let that guilt wash over you for a bit and wait for it to subside on its own. The point here is to remain calm and not to react to your thoughts of him. Passiveness gets you a long way, and it'll prevent yourself from "tempting" yourself into thinking about him by already accepting your feelings for him in the first place.
Secondly, I recommend that if not already, hide away items that remind you of him for awhile. If something around your room, house, or any environment has memories attached to him, hide them somewhere. The point is to remove any triggers you may have that'll tempt you into thinking about him in the first place. Something slightly smell of him? Hide it away. Something you remember he gave you? Shelve it for now. By changing your environment of any anchors to his memory, you can focus more on things that matter in the present.
This then leads me to the final phase, which is to simply keep busy. If not already, don't give yourself time to brood and think about him: force yourself to work and do SOMETHING. Every time you lounge around at home you give yourself a chance for your thoughts to wander to him. If you're doing something that requires great concentration or dedication, you won't have time to think of them as much! For example, I find that the business of my life is distracting me from thinking about my crush, as I focus more on fulfilling actions rather than her. Although you shouldn't resist thoughts, you should resist giving yourself the chance to have such thoughts, if you catch my drift. However, I will warn you that this process works differently for everyone. Not everyone is able to follow up on these actions fully the first time around, and sometimes phases last for months. However, since that's nothing you can really control, you shouldn't worry about that future. Instead worry about being productive with yourself now and doing things that you can enjoy without him ^^. I wish you the best of luck and I hope his memory fades soon!
2) So there's this kid I've known since I was in 7th grade (I'm now a senior in high school) and I kinda like him, and I think he likes me too, but I'm not sure. That's what I need your help with. Okay, so one of our mutual friends came up to me a couple weeks ago and informed me that he likes me, but this friend sometimes lies about things. He waits for me after class, he's always asking me what I'm doing for lunch, back in September when me and my boyfriend broke up he told me I could find someone better and then he started naming off good qualities about himself, he seems to memorize things that I said like months or even years ago, he asked me for my cell number a couple weeks ago (I said no, because I was mad at him for something at the time), he's always holding my things, he tickles/pokes me, he gives me back rubs, and finally, a couple weeks ago I was talking with the kid I like and his friend and I mentioned that I liked football players and his friend says to the kid I like, "well it looks like youve gotta work on your football" so yea I'm not sure if he likes me or not, can you help me? and can you give me some helpful tips on how to get him to ask me out, if you think he likes me.
answer:
Pretty sure he likes you. Yes, there's always that possibility of error that he just might be really really nice to you, but in this case, I think there are enough signs to allow me to posit a "go for it" green light for you :). It seems like he's being forward in his actions, though he hasn't said anything specifically about liking you. I mean, he sounds like a real gentleman, acts like a friend, and makes these statements that are mildly flattering of himself. I think it's a safe bet that he likes you.
If you don't want to do the brute work of making the first move of confession (which is what I'd honestly prefer of you), then ask him to go somewhere like a movie and dinner. It's intimate enough that it's just the two of you, while being just friendly enough not to be so overt, but being a strong enough hint to maybe nudge him in that right direction. If you're feeling forward, I'd suggest dragging him into the movie theatre by his hand, watch a scary movie, and well...you know the cliches. The point is to break some physical barriers, keep looking into his eyes, and keep him overall on edge until he finally asks you out. If that doesn't work...just tell him you like him at the end of the date. The same resolution comes anyways, right?
